Lifeless
by Jackattack456
Summary: When Hawke becomes dealthly ill with an unknown sickness, how far will Fenris go to save the women he loves. Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

**This idea has been goes though my head for a very long time and I have finally decided to get it out of my head and onto paper. I really love to read what you think of my stories so please remember to leave reviews, I really do love reviews. **

**Warning: spoilers.**

**Rated T for langue, violence, and sexual references.**

**Disclaimer: Bioware owns the game. I own the story.**

It stated with a simple cold; a small cough; a tiny fever. No one could possible expected how horrifyingly awful it ended up being. But sometimes the most horrible things come in small packages.

"Alright everyone you heard the dwarf, we have to go to lowtown and look for the crazy elf who is selling the Arishok exploding powder. I can't wait to meet her," said Hawke. They had just gone on a wild goose chase for Javaris which turned out to be a complete waste of time and now they have to find that crazy blasted elf.

"She sounds almost as crazy as you Hawke, maybe crazier," joked Varric. "You two should get along nicely, maybe she could join the group."

"No one is as crazy as me Varric, you should know that, and I already have enough insane people following me into hell, there is just no more room in this marry band of misfits." Hawke smiled sweetly at her short dwarfen friend, who was now chuckling softly. They began to walk down the winding mountain path to head to lowtown. As they were walking, Hawke felt her throat burning as if on fire and began to cough uncontrollability and violently. Her traveling companions stopped and turned to face their coughing leader.

"Hawke are you alright?" Asked a clearly concerned Fenris. Ever since their first night together when Fenris had left her still naked in the bed they had just shared, Fenris and Hawke had not talked much aside from their reading classes. However, they both still cared deeply for each other, but both unsure of what to do about it.

Hawke's coughing ceased and she inhaled deeply through her mouth and then turned to see the deep, overwhelming worry that resided in Fenris's beautiful emerald green eyes.

"Yeah I'm fine, just a little cough."

That's how it all started, just a little cough.

**Hey guys, sorry this is so short. I promise longer chapters are coming. I hope you all enjoyed the start to the story. Remember to review!**

**Love you all,**

**Jackattack456. **


	2. Chapter 2

**So here is chapter two. Thank you all for the follows, favorites, and reviews. So enjoy and remember to review at the end.**

As the group made their way into the deep underbelly of Kirkwall, Anders made the group take a detour into dark town to check on Hawke's condition in his clinic, despite her pleas. Anders had already given her three potions and checked her forehead for a fever twice. While Hawke appreciated her friends concern, she was slightly annoyed by his actions. Fenris in the meantime, watched her from a distance, his eyes never leaving her. Every time Anders toughed her, Hawke saw Fenris tense, as if slapped, and clench his fists. Her whole group was all worried about her condition; they were not used to seeing their fearless leader appear week and needing help. While this did not make them think any less of her, it only made them more concerned for her. Hawke dismissed it as nothing, even though she had already stopped several times coughing her lungs out.

By the time the team made it to Ander's clinic, Hawke looked pale and sick. The group quickly led her into the safe heaven. While Hawke was seated into one of the chairs, Anders went to go and collect the tools he needed.

"You don't look so good, sweet thing. But lucky for you I happen to know how to get rid of the sickness and replace it with _so_ much _pleasure_." Isabella was teasing but Hawke could hear the concern hidden in her friend's voice.

"I'm sure you do." Hawke chuckled weakly and quietly added so only Isabella could hear, "I'm fine Bella, truly."

"You better be," Isabella muttered back.

Just then Anders came back with his equipment and began to examine Hawke while Fenris watched from the side, clenching and unclenching his fists until the examination was over.

"Well," Anders started, "you have a fever and your throat is really dried out. It's just a simple cold and you should get better soon, but what you need right now is to relax in your bed for a couple of days and drink plenty of water. I can give you this," he held out a small purple potion, "it will help with your cough but you still need rest and lots of it."

"Anders you know that I can't stop and rest now, there is just so much going on right now! The Arishok is on the verge of attacking the city, there is a crazy elf on the loose and I have to be right in the middle of everything so I can fix it."

"You're not going to get much better if you don't relax and take it easy."

"This city is not going to wait around for me to get better and I have to be here when things happen, how else do you think I will save the day," exclaimed Hawke. "Right now we are going to find that damn elf."

"Hawke, stop being so bloody stubborn and listen to Anders," demanded Aveline.

"Aveline you know as well as I do that I have to fix everyone's shit, face it this city needs me."

Aveline rolled her eyes and walked outside to get some fresh air. Hawke knew her friend was just worried about her, but spending days in a bed with nothing to do did not sound fun to Hawke.

Hawke's eyes wandered over to Fenris, who sat with his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes were glued to her. He was watching her as if he expected her to fall over couching any minute now. He walked over to where she was sitting.

"Hawke are you sure about this? I believe that the _abomination _may be right this time."

"I'll be fine Fenris, you all worry too much. I am unbeatable, I'm not going to have a small cold kick my ass, and I have faced much worse." Hawke smiled up at Fenris to reassure him that she was fine. Fenris, however, did not look convinced. He looked at her one last time before shaking his head and walking back to the corner to continue brooding.

"Alright then, if everyone is done doubting me, let's go find us an elf."

**Hey I know this chapter is still a little short, but it seemed like a good place to end the chapter. I hope you all enjoyed chapter two. Please leave a review; I love to read what you think of my story. Thank you all for reading my story.**

**Love you all,**

**Jackattack456.**


	3. Chapter 3

Hawke led Fenris, Isabella, and Varric through the streets of Lowtown, searching for the elf. Lucky for them, they had stumbled across a very overwhelmed guard, trying desperately to keep the crowd away from going into the dark alley behind him. Hawke and her team pushed through the crowd to reach the guard.

"You can't go any further, unless you have a death wish." The guard pointed at Hawke.

"Not a death wish, just the insane power to fix everything." Hawke smiled sweetly at the flustered guard.

"I highly doubt you could fix this." The guard sighed deeply. "The people that went in there went insane from the poison. You can't fight it."

"Just let me in, I can take care of it. Aveline sent me," lied Hawke. In truth, her friend was probably furious that she left in such a state.

"The guard captain sent you? Then maybe you can fix this horrible mess."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you." Hawke smiled again, but then started coughing.

"Are you okay, Serah?"

Hawke desperately tried to stop coughing. Once she accomplished this, she looked up and saw that her team was looking at her with concern written all over their faces. It was getting worse.

"Of course I'm okay, why wouldn't I be?!" Hawke snapped a bit too harshly. Isabella placed her hand softly on Hawke's shoulder and smiled reassuringly at her friend. Hawke signed and turned to face to the clearly embarrassed guard, who was now looking down at the floor. "I'm sorry. I appreciate your concern, but I'm truly fine."

The guard nodded then moved aside, allowing Hawke and her team to head into the dark alley.

As Hawke began to move forward, the man's brown eyes looked up at her, silently pleading at her to help in any way she could. Hawke gave him a swift nod, promising without the use of words. The guard got the message and went back to keeping the crowd at bay.

Hawke gestured to her team to move forward into the compound. They all drew their weapons upon entering. Hawke noticed a sort of green gas leaking from a tan barrel in the middle of the area.

"Quick," yelled Hawke as she realized that it was the poison that was leaking from the barrels. "Find the top to that barrel."

The team frantically looked around the ground for the top.

"Found it!" Varric walked over to the barrel and placed the lid onto the barrel. Just then, a group of crazed people and mercenaries ran out.

"Now for the fun part," Hawke smiled as if she had just opened a present. "Ready to be beaten, Varric?" Hawke and Varric had made a game to see who could kill the most enemies. The loser of the battle had to buy the whole team drinks at the Hanged Man and say that the other was the better fighter of that round.

"You may be ahead of me, but that will all change today," Varric smiled back, as he loaded his trusty crossbow.

"You wish!" Hawke yelled as she charged forward to face the opponents.

Hawke's and Isabella's daggers moved like lightning, quickly killing off the front line of enemies. Both rouges looked as if they were dancing as the twerilled around their opposites cutting and slicing as they went. They were graceful as they sliced their enemies into pieces.

Meanwhile, Varric fired his crossbow at an alarming rate. He never led any of the enemies get close. He quickly killed them before they could draw their weapons. He smiled as his number of kills increased rapidly.

"Ha-ha! Another one for me, looks like I wouldn't be the one buying tonight."

"I'm only getting started Varric, and you better have a lot of money because I'm planning on getting very drunk tonight!"

Varric mumbled something under his breath and then increased his firing rate; Hawke also seemed to speed up.

Fenris, who had been slicing his enemies in two while Hawke and Varric were jeering at each other, was making quick work of his opponents as well. Although he was annihilating people left and right, he secretly watched Hawke out of the corner of his eye, looking for any signs of pain and/or sickness. While he tried to keep it secret, he was so very worried about Hawke. He had never seen Hawke sick and it scared him. He watched as Hawke laughed at some joke Varric had told that he missed. He loved her laugh; he loved her smile. It pained him greatly when he thinks back to when he had left her in her bed, while tears threatening to spill out of her eyes. He was such a fool to leave her, she was everything to him and he blew it. However he knew it was probably better this way, so he wouldn't hurt her, or so Danarius wouldn't harm her so it would harm him.

Danarius, the one thing he feared most in his life. However nothing was scarier then the thought of Danarius hurting Hawke or anything hurting Hawke for that matter.

Fenris shook his head, to get out of his daydream. "_Now is not the time with such thoughts, there is work to be done," _he told himself. _"I need to concentrate on the fight or else Hawke __**will**__ get hurt and I cannot allow that."_

The team continued to put all the tops on all the barrels as they were continuously attacked by mercenaries and the people infected by the poison. Once they had finished, the elf crawled out from behind the shadows.

"Finally," exclaimed Hawke. "Just the person I was looking for."

**So I hope you all enjoyed chapter three. It will be taking me a long time to update chapters because of all the stuff that is going on at school right now, so I am sorry for that. I will try to update once every week or every other week. Thank you all for reading. Also thank you to all who have reviewed, I truly appreciate it.**

**Don't forget to review! :)**

**Love you all,**

**Jackattack456.**


	4. Chapter 4

Hawke danced around the elf, her daggers moving like lightening. Sweat poured down her face, her breathing was ragged and she was trying not to choke on her own breath. The elf laughed as Hawke barely dodged another of her attacks.

While Hawke was dueling the elf, her teammates were fighting her body guards and desperately trying to keep the pressure off of Hawke.

Fenris's eyes wandered over to Hawke. She was looking sicker than ever as she blocked and attacked the crazed animal. Worry and concern crept up into Fenris. He pried his eyes from the site so he could concentrate on keeping the women he loved safe.

The battle suddenly ended when Hawke pushed her daggers into the elf's side. The elf slumped down to the floor, clutching the side that had just been stabbed. Her body guards lay dead on the ground, rotting in their own blood.

"Well that was fun." Hawke sighed as she bent down to search the elf. Suddenly the thought-to-be dead elf sprung up and grabbed Hawke, who was so surprised that she fell back and dropped her weapons.

"You will never win!" The elf screeched as she removed what looked like a bomb.

Fenris, Isabella, and Varric had no time to act as the elf hurled the bomb at Hawke.

The bomb exploded onto both Hawke and the elf, coating them both in the green gas, the one that had made all those people crazy.

"Hawke!" Fenris bellowed as he raced forward to her. Once he got to her, he noticed that the elf was now dead from her wounds and Hawke was lying motionless on the ground. If he could bring that elven bitch back to life he would so he could kill again, slowly and painfully.

"Damn it Hawke," growled Fenris. He reached down and checked her pulse. Her heartbeat was weak but it was there. "You better not die."

Fenris quickly but gently cradled her up into his arms as if she were made of glass. He enjoyed holding her close to him, despite the circumstances.

"We need to take her to Anders right now," said Isabella.

Fenris nodded his head in agreement and quickly set off to Anders's clinic.

The doors to Anders's clinic burst open as Fenris and the rest of the group sprinted trough them.

Hawke's condition had worsened on the way to the clinic, causing the team to run faster and pray that their leader and their friend make it.

Fenris stomped up to Anders, who was gaping at them with a shocked expression on his face.

"Fix her now," demanded Fenris. Anders noted that Fenris look particularly more broody than usual, if possible and with one glance at Hawke, he understood why.

"Place her onto the table and tell me what happened." Anders pointed to the unoccupied table.

Fenris walked swiftly over to the table and gently put Hawke down, his fingers lingering a second more than they needed to.

Varric walked over to Anders to explain what had happened. Once Anders had heard it all, he began to examine Hawke.

You could almost hear Fenris grinding his teeth. However he didn't act on his anger until Anders pulled out a knife.

"What do you think you're doing?" Fenris growled and began to glow blue.

Anders rolled his eyes. "I need a sample of her blood to see if the poison is in her blood stream and to see what exactly is causing this problem. You can leave if you're uncomfortable with it."

"I will not leave her side," Fenris stated and sat back down next to Hawke.

"Then shut up about it," muttered Anders under his breath.

Fenris growled and clenched his fists tight, but did not say anything, as Anders made a small cut into Hawke's arm. He held a small black bowl underneath the wound to collect the blood. Once he had enough, he closed the cut using his magic.

"All of you can go home now, this will take a while to see what the problem and it is late. I will look after Hawke and keep her safe. Also I do not need the distractions."

"No I am staying."

Isabella touched Fenris's arm. "Fenris, darling, it's late and there is nothing we can do. Anders will take good care of her and we can see her first thing in the morning. Plus Anders needs to concentrate and you would just disturb him and you don't want that."

Fenris sighed, he knew that they were right but he didn't want to leave Hawke with the abomination. However he knew there was nothing he could do even if something happened and he didn't want to get in the way of helping Hawke get better.

Fenris turned and nodded to Isabella and then turned to face Anders.

"If anything happens to her, anything at all, I **will** kill you."

Anders nodded and knew that Fenris wasn't bluffing.

Fenris then turned and walked out into the cold night.

The walk to his house seemed to last like a lifetime. His legs felt like lead, his heart felt heavier. Once inside his home, Fenris sat with his back against the wall and his head in his hands. He stayed like that for a while, just sitting and thinking but then he moved upstairs to his bedroom and laid down on his bed, no bothering to remove his armor.

He went over and over in his head what he could have done to protect Hawke so this never happened. It seemed like there were thousands of things he could have done, if he had been quicker or stronger maybe Hawke would be fine right now.

Fenris knew that he wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight.

**Sooooo what do you all think of chapter 4? Let me know! **

**I hope you all have a wonderful New Years and you guys would make this night very special to me if you left a review!**

**Thank you to all those who have review!**

**Happy New Years!**

**Love you all,**

**Jackattack456**


	5. Chapter 5

Fenris watched as the sun rose up into the air, telling the world that it was the start of a new day. As for Fenris, it was the cue to go see Hawke.

Fenris had not gotten any sleep that night. He had been tossing and turning in his bed all night, with his eyes plastered to the window, waiting for any signs of morning. Within those long hours of the night, Fenris's thoughts were on one person alone. Hawke.

Stepping quickly out of bed, Fenris marched down the steps and to the front door, not having to get ready since he had not bothered changing the night before.

He stepped out into the cold morning air and started walking at a slightly faster pace than usual. The streets were mostly empty, seeing as it was still early. The few shop keepers that were out gave Fenris no attention as they set up their shops for the day.

The world seemed worry free but within Fenris his thoughts were all but worry free.

'_What if that abomination has not found out what is wrong with Hawke? What if he did find out and there is no cure? What if Hawke ends up like those crazy people we fought last night? What if…? What if..?_' Thoughts ran through Fenris's head as he walked. He stopped and shook his head.

'_I have to face this like a man. Hawke needs me right now and I need to help and thinking about what could happen will not help.'_

Fenris sighed and stared to walk in the direction of the clinic, trying hard to erase any thoughts of Hawke he had. Easier said than done.

Fenris heart beat increased rapidly as he approached the door to Anders's clinic. He placed his sweaty palm on the door handle, trying desperately to keep his breathing level. He clenched his eyes shut as he peeled open the door. He took one last deep breath before opening his eyes and walking into the clinic.

"Fenris, you're here early, not that I'm surprised." Anders said, muttering that last part under his breath.

"Maker's breathe Fenris!" Anders exclaimed after getting a good look at Fenris's face, "You look like you got into a fight with a dragon! Did you get any sleep last night?"

"How is she?" Fenris asked, ignoring Anders entirely. He looked around trying to find Hawke, but she must have been behind one of the curtains.

Anders sighed deeply and stared down at his feet.

"I don't know." Anders whispered, his voice sounding small and weak.

Fenris swallowed as the worry began to cloud his mind again.

"What do you mean you do not know?"

"Her condition is stable for now, but has worsened from last night. I examined the blood that I collected from her last night and found that there is a great amount of the poison in her bloodstream. I tried using my magic on the sample but it rejected it. I gave some potions but they didn't seem to do anything. I don't know what to do." Anders sighed in defeat.

Fenris stood there, not knowing how to respond. His mind kept replaying what Anders said over and over again. He tried to swallow but found that he couldn't. His heart was going crazy within his chest and his fists were clenched at his sides. He felt himself starting to glow and became angrier with each passing second. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself.

'_This is Hawke we are talking about, she has to be okay.'_

Fenris slowly felt the angry leaving his body as it was replaced with sorrow, worry, and regret. Fenris looked at Anders with his green gems and saw that Anders was looking back with a sad expression.

"Where is she?" Fenris whispered so softly that it caught Anders by surprise. He was used to the Fenris that would rip out your heart if you made him mad, but now Fenris looked broken, lost, and unsure of himself. Anders felt himself feel sorry for Fenris, another thing he was not used to.

"Follow me." Anders gestured for Fenris to follow him. Fenris follow like a lost pup looking for his owner.

Anders led him to the back corner of the clinic and drew back the curtain, exposing Hawke.

Fenris rushed over to her side and told her hand in his, with some much care and tenderness that Anders had to look away.

Fenris softly stroked Hawke's hand as he examined her. Her dirty hair was plastered to her face by sweat. Her lips were bright red and parted. Her eyes were shut tightly and she almost looked like she was sleeping, but then Fenris looked closer.

She had huge black bags underneath her eyes and you could see her veins sticking out on her forehead and neck. She was pale, so very pale and much too skinny. Fenris noticed that Hawke's hand was nothing but bone and freezing. He reached the hand that was not holding hers and felt her forehead, only to quickly jerk his hand back seeing as she was way too hot, so hot that he had burnt himself on her head. It was nothing like a normal fever.

She looked like a corpse.

"She hasn't woken up since you brought her back," Anders said.

Fenris nodded slowly and looked up at Anders.

"Why isn't she crazy, like the people we fought?"

"Ah yes, Varric told me that the people you fought had gone mad because of the poison. I don't exactly know why that hasn't happened to Hawke, it could be that she inhaled so much of it or it could simply be taking a longer time to turn her crazy. So it is possible that it will still happen to her, if we can't find a cure."

Anders words made Fenris's heart to skip a beat and caused him to shiver. He glanced at Hawke again, this women that he loved so much, it hurt him to see her in such a way and the thought of losing her…

'_No,'_ thought Fenris, _'I will not lose her, I will not allow it.'_

Fenris tore his gaze from Hawke's lifeless body and looked at Anders.

"Then how do we cure her?"

**Hey everyone. I'm SO sorry this is so late. I have been busy and lazy. I really hope you all like this chapter, I worked really hard on it and I would love it if you take the time to leave a review! And thank you so much to the people who have reviewed! The more people who review, the more motivated I get to make another chapter!**

**Love you all,**

**Jackattack456**


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